Josip Ilicic, a name synonymous with moments of breathtaking brilliance and an enigmatic presence on the pitch, has always been a player of profound contrasts. At 37, as he graces the Slovenian first division with Koper, he’s not just playing football; he’s meticulously unspooling the intricate tapestry of a career woven with exhilarating highs, crushing lows, and a quiet resilience. His recent reflections offer a rare glimpse into the mind of a maestro, revealing battles fought far beyond the touchlines—battles against depression, the silent terror of a global pandemic, and the persistent whispers of public conjecture.
The Early Chapters: Street Smart to Serie A Stardom
Born in Bosnia, raised in Slovenia, Ilicic’s football education was forged on the unforgiving streets, a crucible that shaped his distinctive left foot and an unyielding competitive spirit. “My shots, my left foot, were born on the street,” he muses, highlighting a primal connection to the game. His professional journey took him to Italy, first with Palermo, where he found a unique protector in President Zamparini, a man “in love with my football” who shielded him from early pressures.
Florence followed, a period Ilicic describes as “complex.” Despite being a top scorer and assist provider twice in four years, he felt unfairly scrutinized. “Was I bad? Seriously?” he questions, a hint of justified exasperation. Yet, even with these criticisms, a fondness remains for the city where his family still occasionally visits. This blend of perceived slight and underlying affection hints at the depth of his character—a fighter who feels deeply, yet moves forward.
Atalanta: The Pinnacle, the Magic, and the Unfulfilled Dream
The move to Atalanta marked a turning point, igniting a period of footballing alchemy. Under Gian Piero Gasperini, Ilicic found a manager who not only understood him but pushed him beyond what he thought possible. Gasperini`s training was legendary, brutal even: “Between one training session and another, you can`t sleep: your legs pulsate, you`re tired, you feel like vomiting.” Yet, it forged an unbreakable spirit and physical prowess that allowed Atalanta to dominate games in their dying stages.
This Atalanta side was no ordinary team; it was, as Ilicic fondly recalls, “magical.” With talents like Papu Gomez, Muriel, and Pasalic, they played “with our eyes closed and would still score.” Their attacking prowess was undeniable, scoring five against Milan, five against Parma, and famously, four against Valencia in a Champions League knockout tie – a night Ilicic describes as the “best of his life,” where he single-handedly dismantled the opposition. It was a team that “changed the history of football,” setting an example for smaller clubs.
However, the dream of a trophy remained elusive. Losing two Coppa Italia finals, one particularly contentious due to a handball decision in 2019, still stings. “I’ve lost 4 finals, but that remains the worst,” he states, his words dripping with the bitterness of what-might-have-been. There`s a subtle irony in their almost-scudetto attack, their incredible European journey, and yet, the trophy cabinet remained frustratingly bare during his tenure.
The Unseen Battle: Depression, COVID-19, and the Weight of Silence
Just as Atalanta reached the zenith of their powers, and Ilicic himself was in “a state of form never seen before,” the world began to shut down. The COVID-19 pandemic hit Bergamo with devastating force, an image burned into Ilicic`s memory: “coffins in trucks… a terrible image.” Isolated for 42 days without his family, the emotional toll was immense. He wasn`t well; the joy of football, the pursuit of success, all faded. “Money, contracts, nothing mattered to me anymore.”
Compounding this private anguish were malicious rumors regarding his wife`s fidelity. “Nothing could be further from the truth,” he asserts, pain evident in his refusal to elaborate on details of his personal struggle. He chose silence, knowing that revealing the full extent of his illness would invite intrusive questions he wasn`t ready to answer. His family and close friends knew the truth, and that was enough. It`s a stark reminder that even public figures deserve a sphere of privacy, especially when battling invisible demons.
Gasperini: The Guiding Force
Amidst the darkness, Gasperini remained a constant. The coach`s tears when discussing Ilicic`s ordeal underscored the depth of their bond. Gasperini’s belief was unshakeable, pushing Ilicic even when he felt physically and mentally drained. “After the third goal [against Valencia], I asked for a substitution, he ignored me and I scored the fourth,” Ilicic recalls with a mix of awe and amusement. It was Gasperini who, in 2020, declared Ilicic was playing at a “Ballon d`Or level,” a testament to his sheer talent and the coach`s ability to unlock it. Ilicic`s wry comment, “Maybe if I had started gym training at 17…”, highlights a common footballer`s lament—the eternal `what if`.
A Winding Path to Home
Ultimately, physical ailments, specifically chronic tendon issues, brought an end to his glorious Atalanta chapter. The relentless pace became unsustainable. He turned down offers from Napoli and Bologna, even an intriguing two-and-a-half-year contract from Sevilla, choosing instead to return to Maribor, then Koper, embracing a slower rhythm. Leaving Bergamo was a mix of sadness and relief, a return to roots after 12 years.
The Enduring Legacy of a Fan Favorite
The love from Atalanta fans, however, never waned. His emotional reaction to their visit to Maribor in 2023, and the chants he heard during an Atalanta-Real Madrid match in 2024, affirm the indelible mark he left. “I thought people had forgotten, but the fans were singing,” he recounts, clearly moved. Luka Modric, a peer, even commented on it. It’s a powerful testament to a player who was perhaps more appreciated for his artistry and emotional connection than for a bulging trophy cabinet.
Ilicic views Atalanta`s 2024 Europa League triumph with genuine happiness, a validation of the “crazy things” they achieved together, even if he wasn`t on the pitch. His story is a compelling narrative of football`s human side: the pressure, the pain, the triumphs, and the enduring bond between a player and his adopted home. Josip Ilicic was, and remains, a unique force—a maestro who played not just with his feet, but with his soul.
